Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Humour: English is A Crazy Language 2

Another list of the inconsistencies of the English language to brighten your day!

English - Strange Language

· If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
· If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?
· "When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
· Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
· Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
· If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
· Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
· Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
· If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
· Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
· If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
· When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
· Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
· Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
· If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philips Screwdriver?
· Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a "whack"?
· "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
· If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
· Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
· Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you that a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure.

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